everyone is single if you try hard enough
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
