there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
