Just fell off a train. Bad.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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