What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
