Life is so much better after having sex.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
