Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
