Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
