dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
