dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
