from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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