How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
even my farts smell like vagina
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
