taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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