sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
His nipple licking is glorious
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