I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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