The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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