So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
