very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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