my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
