I can text with my tongue
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
