there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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