We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
