my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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