Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
