imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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