i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
