I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize