Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
