Me too!
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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