she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
