I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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