omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
