So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
