Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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