She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
