Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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