Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
