I can text with my tongue
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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