whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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