I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I need water and some morals
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
