he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
