just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
