thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
