Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
