Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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