Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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