i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
