Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
