My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She told me I should be a condom model.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
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