I'm jealous of your bromance
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
