You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
