it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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