i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
