the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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