Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
