K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
